Sunday, November 04, 2007

Reinventing Motherhood? A Must-read for all Moms...

While in the US, I found that I was captivated by book titles (who says you can't judge a book by it's cover, anyway?). When I saw the book entitled I Was a Really Good Mom before I had kids, I had to buy it. Boy am I glad I did! It's funny the motherhood wars that go on. You've never seen as divisive an issue as choices in child rearing.
This book is a fun, light-hearted look at being the kind of mother you are rather than the kind you think you should be... It is interspersed with quizzes to get you to admit the reality of your life (and accept, maybe embrace it). Quiz No. 1 sets the tone for the book. Here are some excerpts...
Check all that apply.

- You secretly wish you had your own apartment.
- If you have to play Go Fish again, you will definitely poke your eyeballs out.
- You feel guilty that you like to go to work so much.
- You consider a trip to the dentist your special "alone time".
- Plus many, many more.

Are you getting into the spirit yet? This is really my kind of book. Each Chapter is a humorous look at the pressure we place on ourselves as mothers. The authors even interviewed 100 moms and provide some of their answers. Sample Chapter titles are:

I Love Being a Mom, I Just hate Doing It (Aligning Your Expectations with Reality)
Am I a Bad Mom if I don't Buy Organic SpaghettiOs? (Lose the Judgment)
Oh My God, I Don't Want to Color Right Now (Live in the Moment)

One really nice thing is that quotes from their interviewees as so normal, down to earth, I could have said them (at least some of them, not the one about wearing a Depends because I don't have time to stop and go pee, but...).

I'm going to recommend this book to my best friend in the US who has a one year old as I think she puts too much pressure on herself to be a perfect Mom. As most of us do, she looks around at others and says, Wow that looks easy. But, she forgets that she doesn't see us when we're sooo sleep deprived that we're shouting at the kids, or when we decide that chicken nuggets 4 meals in a row will just have to be good enough. We had a long talk about breastfeeding (something I did to a year with all 3 of the beans, including pumping while I worked for the TwinBeans). She saw us when the TwinBeans were about 6 months old and it looked SO easy. And, she never asked. Once her littlebean came, she felt like less of a Mom because it wasn't easy and she was so ill post-delivery that she couldn't nurse. I was glad to be able to reassure her that feeding her baby formula was NOT going to harm him for life. She was still a great Mom. Oh, and the times she didn't see with the beans were the first 6-8 weeks of life where I had to nurse them every 2 hours and then pump immediately after. Where I set a deadline for JuniorBean that if he didn't get it by X weekend, he was going to be my only formula-fed baby (apparently he just need me to be firm, still does I suppose).

And that's what we do to ourselves as Moms. We look at the Bree Van De Camps of the world and think, well if they can do this, so can I. We seem to fail to realize that we probably CAN, but perhaps SHOULD not. Personally, I am not gifted with kids. Don't get me wrong, I love them and enjoy them. But, I can't spend all day playing Little People and Barbie. In this respect my attention span (just like a 2 year old) is about 15 minutes. I understand that about myself and am okay with it. I have other gifts and am thankful that we can find people who do have this gift to help us. So, I wanted to share this book with all you Moms out there. If anyone wants to borrow mine, just drop me a line :).

Happy Fake Cupcakes!


At 7:13 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi! Your blog is great. Good luck to you in your new adventures. We are really pleased that you like the book and are recommending it. And the fact that you are sharing it with your friend in the U.S. is terrific. That's how the book got started -- two honest friends sharing their truths and dirty little secrets.

We'll be reading to see how you're doing!

Amy Nobile & Trisha Ashworth, authors of
I Was A Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids

At 7:25 PM , Blogger MommaBean said...

Wow, how awesome! Ladies, you've done a great thing for monthers everywhere. Welcome to my blog and thanks for the comment!

At 9:51 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

TOO FUN MOMMABEAN!! Both the book and an author comment!

By paragraph two, I was gonna ask if I can borrow it!!

At 10:34 PM , Blogger MommaBean said...

It's yours. I'm certain you'll get the same hoot out of it that I did. And how cool that the authors visited my little ole blog?!

At 11:24 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey hey how about me? well Kinzi is a fast reader, so I'm next ok?

At 12:14 AM , Blogger UmmFarouq said...

That is hilarious. My trip to the dentist IS my special alone time. I thought I was the only one.

Take care! Think I'll go color a Blue's Clue's page now.

At 2:59 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read this to my wife and now she wants the book.

At 8:53 AM , Blogger 7aki Fadi said...

Sounds like a fun book. I'll check it out.

At 12:47 AM , Blogger MommaBean said...

After Salam, reservations are open. I found it to be a quick read (finished it in just 2 days). I'll keep my copy available on loan for those not wishing to purchase...


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