The Hard Lessons of Discipline, Harder for Us Than Them :(
Today Helper Bean, the three beans, and I went clothes shopping. Now, I think they wanted to go because they've never actually gotten to choose their own clothes before. But, then, that's both a plus and a minus. Since I've chosen the things for them, they could get away with not really wearing things they didn't like. But today, I didn't choose for them, so they WILL be wearing these clothes. During the course of our shopping, we stopped at Gymboree. If you aren't familiar they have cute, if overpriced, children's clothing. I only shop their clearance racks, of course. While I was looking at the various clearance spots, JuniorBean picked up a pair of red shoes with little white hearts on them. The only way they could have screamed "I'm for a girl" more is if they were pink and sparkly (he liked those too, but for some reason these were his favorite). He carried them around and around the store. Of course, I was absolutely not going to buy this pair of shoes. So, when time to go came, he had an all out tantrum. Now, handling melt-downs in public is especially difficult. But, with JuniorBean, I give him a lap time out (I hold him still in my lap, which is torture for him, I assure you). However, in addition to a time-out, JuniorBean gave up the special treat I had told them about. If they behaved well, we were going to buy a special small toy each. So, JuniorBean had to forego the toy while watching the girlbeans pick out fun new things. And, of course, my heart was so sad for him. I find myself thinking, it's almost harder on us than on them... After all, they forget it almost instantly while we remember it long after.
Happy shopping!
posted by MommaBean @ 1:07 PM
4 Comments
4 Comments:
I have to admit that after reading your post you have a pretty strong will. Having yourself adhere to sustaining his punishment must have taken nerves of steal! Did he have another tantrum at the toy store, seeing how his sisters got toys while he didn't?
I'd have probably had my kid's punishment suspended or something, but I doubt it would have done him/her good down the line. I am likely to spoil my children rotten (as I can be a whimp when it comes to disciplining kids.) I was the youngest in my family, and my parents spoiled me. Thankfully however, I was still obedient, I never truly tested their patience. But I will admit that I was also spoiled, and as an adult I sure like a lot of creature comforts. :P
Thank goodness that won't be a father for another 2 years or so. In the mean time I guess I will visit your blog more often for some pointers. :)
Z, Thanks and welcome. Actually, at the toy store the girls picked out toys. The, he and I went and had a conversation to remind him that the reason he doesn't get a toy is because of his poor behavior at the previous store. He understood and was sweet and well behaved as we checked out (that was the moment I actually wanted to give in). Then, ten minutes later on our way out of the mall, he refused to obey again (can we say overtired anyone?). That was the moment I was glad I DIDN'T give in :). It all balances out and I'm certain that giving in wouldn't have helped him learn those life lessons that make us better people.
MB, don't you love it when people acknowledge your nerves of steel when you know how easy it would be to give in.
Good for you! Ziad is in the right place to learn good parenting of little ones.
Thanks Kinzi. Like all Moms, I do give in more often than I should, but I try to make it far less often than I could :). I know you know what I mean. And thanks for the compliment, although I'm not sure how accurate it is. I just do my poor little best...
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