Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Alienation of Affection

You know, the Beans are such a fickle and change-able lot. They kind of crack me up. I expect many of you are wondering from my blog post if El 3atal and I have hit a rocky patch, the fabled 12 year trouble or something. I assure you it is nothing nearly so dramatic. Yesterday, much to my rejoicing (and that of the beans who gave up swimming day at the day care to go with us) we went to the airport to pick up HelperBean.

All of my fears were not realized (although I had every confidence that once she had given a commitment, she would be back, I also have the Mommy-sense to imagine having to leave her son again...) and HelperBean arrived in the morning at much derided QAIA... May I say that the entire family is rejoicing?! Finally someone will be able to sort out where Back-up Helper has been putting all of that stuff that we haven't been able to find in a month. Finally, we can actually make it to work at a reasonable hour. Finally there's someone else to help deal with whining and puking (hopefully we're finally over that!).

So, needless to say, my life has come back into some sort of reasonable orbit. It's no longer spinning nearly out of control. And then, the other shoe dropped. For the last 3 weeks, JujuBean has spent nearly 100% of the time that she and I are collocated attached to my hip. She constantly grabbed my hand with cries of "Mommy, I want you, I love you." She even said to me on several occasions "Mommy, I never want you to go away from me again, at all." Talk about hyperbole. And then, Helperbean's much lauded, long awaited return occurred. And now, guess what... Mommy can't do ANYTHING for JujuBean. From brushing teeth to putting in hair bobs from getting breakfast to buckling in car seats, JujuBean only wants HelperBean.

This morning, I finally decided JujuBean could stand a little teasing about this transfer of affections. I said to her, "I think you don't love Mommy anymore." She replied "yes, because I love HelperBean." How refreshingly honest! I had to giggle about that one. She is as firmly not my little girl as she could be. Somehow, I know that the balance will swing back to the middle after a month or so of HelperBean availability, but how quickly they transfer allegiance :).

And, while I'm on the subject, I'd like to reflect for a brief moment on the blessings we've had since HelperBean was gone.
  1. MemeBean has been with us for an extended visit. This has been wonderful as the kids take TetaBean's presence for granted we're blessed with seeing her so often. But, MemeBean is just much farther away. So, we've been having fun with another influence, someone else. And, she's helped MommaBean not go nutso.
  2. I've spent alot more quality time with the kids than I have in the 2 years since we've lived in Jordan. Admittedly that's been a mixed blessing as it also drives me nuts, but it's so fun to see my little bitty Beans growing and maturing. It's also added a closeness that feels so awesome to the whole family unit.
  3. I've reminded myself that if I have to, I can in fact do it on my own (I hope never to have to, but...). I've been rather self-reliant, extending all the way to actually mopping the office floors myself. I even managed to make cupcakes and brownies for our T-Ball final game/party/awards ceremony (boy did we miss Lil Kinz!). I braved my fickle oven and turned out snacks that went far beyond edible all the way to scrumptious.
  4. Battling constant yuckiness (illness) has reminded me to give thanks to God that we're all generally so very, very healthy.
  5. Having loved ones leave gives us something to look forward to. Now that HelperBean is back, we're going to create a new calendar to mark the days on for when JujuBean's best friend comes back. Next, we'll begin marking a calendar for the return of the Konouz. So, the joy and tragedy of anticipation is coming at full force. What an awesome lesson to learn so young!

At any rate, we've had so many blessings, the greatest of which has been HelperBean's return. She's barely been back 24 hours and already my load seems MUCH lighter. I'm wishing all off you...

Happy Blessings!


At 6:43 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

YAHOO!!!!! Hamdililah assalaameh, HelperBean!

MommaBean, missed your posts, but it seems you have followed the sage advice of 'live first, blog later' well. What a fun, but exhausting and nutso time!

Giggling at teh bean who wanted to move to Amrika for MemeBean's, I know Lil Kinz was kinda wondering, 'if Memebean has that much fun stuff in her suitcase, IMAGINE what she has in her house!

You did WELL! The days my shoulders are sore from housework remind of how thankful I am for help. You should see the stack of ironing I have going here.

At 6:30 AM , Blogger MommaBean said...

Allah ysalmik. I was sorry to be away so long, but it's been hard finding time to sleep, much less blog...

Teehee. MemeBean does tend to bring oodles and oddles of stuff whenever we see her. So, yes, in fact, whatever you've imagined, multiply times 10. Haha. The real crowning glory is the story and a half (it has a loft) playhouse that is a veritable child's wonderland. It has running electricity, and AC, and a TV/VCR. And that's on TOP of all the toys (kitchen with play food, dress up area, doll bed the size of a child's crib, etc.).

I don't envy yu your iroing. To see how pitiful we truly are, we sent all of El 3atal's shirts out to be drycleaned because no one here was going to iron them! Teeheehee. Missing you terribly!

At 11:29 PM , Blogger L_Oman said...

Glad your helperbean is back and you're feeling a little less burdened.

As much as our helperbean drives me totally insane (and sadly she'll be replaced soon), I have to say having one sure does lessen the load.

Cute blog, btw!

At 12:49 AM , Blogger UmmFarouq said...

I'm so glad she's back! I know what it is to get into that routine of not having to do everything, and then being hurled back into it in one fell swoop; it is truly overwhelming and anyone not living in this part of the world really cannot grasp how hard it is to work, raise kids, and keep a house in Jordan without any help. You guys have a treasure of a helper and I'm so glad you can finally breathe again. Hey, does that mean you're free for lunch?

Hope you all are in the clear regarding illnesses and the like. Please tell MeMeBean I said hello. She is such a dear.

At 3:09 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi there! Is there a way to contact you? I was looking for a way to email you through your site, but I don't understand Arabic so I'm lost. I found you on BBC Jordan and am new here.

At 9:43 AM , Blogger MommaBean said...

l_oman, welcome. Glad you've enjoyed the blog and I hope your replacement woks out well.

UmmFarouq, finally once again I'm available to DO things :). We're generally clear on the illness front although ButterBean had another "both ends" festival last night. If it recurs we're going to the Doc to get tests done as this is getting silly.

Jen, welcome indeed. You can reach me at mommabean at windowslive dot com. I look forward to hearing from you!


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