How, please tell me, does one Assemple?

I have to admit that my existence may have been sheltered, but I really don't know how one would assemple. It's a while new verb to me, so I'm hoping that someone here can clear up my confusion.


This sign is found outside of a large company in Amman that tends to a better job than this, in my experience. But I did find it quite amusing. Amusing enough to stop on the way to a customer meeting to snap a photo of it.

Happy Assempling!

Inappropriate Use of Hazard Lights

Now, I think I know the right way to use hazard lights. I have been driving for many, many years now. Some of the appropriate uses that I personally favor include:

1. When cars in front of you come to an abrupt halt, you turn on your hazard lights to warn those behind you of your impending halt.
2. When you need to pull over and take care of something and you want to alert other motorists, you turn on your hazard lights to let other drivers know.

The less appropriate uses, which I most assuredly do NOT favor include:

1. When you are double (or triple) parked on a busy thoroughfare, and you use your hazard lights to make it seem as if it's acceptable
2. As I saw today, someone who uses their hazard lights every time they go under a bridge. That's right, the guy today used his hazards to signify that he was passing under a bridge. Is this some sort of superstition of which I am unaware? Anyone?

Happy hazards!

A Sad Day: One I Hoped Would Not Come

So, today we saw the inside of an emergency room... While arguing over a stuffed doll with ButterBean, JuniorBean fell and hit his head on the radiator. After a not-nearly-frantic-enough call from Miss T, I rushed home through horrible traffic. When I got here, I realized that Junior Bean needed stitches. So, El 3atal walked half-way across town avoiding traffic and met us at the hospital. After time spent looking for a plastic surgeon to put in the stitches, we finally got someone to put them in. Unfortunately, the anesthesia didn't take hold nearly well enough and JuniorBean was in quite alot of pain :(. So, to help with it, Mommy sang songs with him. We started with the alphabet song (Baba's inspiration). We went on singing various songs that came to mind like the Itsy Bitsy Spider (bil Arabi, of course). And ended up with Kum Ba Ya. Poor little JuniorBean was crying pitifully (wailing really), but he was also singing along. So, there was poor waiting Junior singing Kum Ba Ya at the same time, as if it were a compulsion. It had me crying, laughing, and aching for my poor little man. But he was super brave and made it through the unpleasant adventure. All in all, the emergency room was less busy, but generally the same as in the US. So, that was a pleasant surprise. Entsha allah, Junior Bean will continue to heal nicely.

Sad Crying...

The Trials and Tribulations of Learning to Read Arabic

So, we're at the bank today and I'm trying my hand at reading one of their flyers. I sound out the words with little to no recognition of meaning and finally one word sounds very odd to me. "El 3atal, what does mill-ee-won-eer mean?" "What?!" he replies. "Mill-ee-won-eer." Finally he reads it himself. "Oh, that's millionaire." Dum-dum-dum.... Hahahaha! Okay, so sorry, but when how does THAT spell millionaire? Teehee.

Happy reading!

An unusually loquacious and humorous food service worker

So, El 3atal and I went to get some hommos for the kids at one of our favorite places (best hommos in town, in my humble opinion). El 3atal decided he might some fool, but only if it was nice and fresh. So, he asked (in one of those fabulous colorful Arabic expressions) if the fool was awake. So, here's the tenor of the conversation...

El 3atal: Is the fool awake today?
Food Service Worker: It's so awake, it's getting on its nerves.
E3: Good, hmmm, perhaps I'll have some.
FSW: You know, fool is full of so much protein, it's really good for you.
E3: Ah, yes, but the challenge is that so much protein can put you to sleep.
FSW: No, stop! Lies and rumors started by the butcher!

We took some of the very awake fool and I still laugh to think of those lies and rumors... I hope you enjoyed the encounter as much as I did.

Happy ordering!