How Do You Tell Your Kids? What Words Do You Use?

So, this topic has come up in passing lately a number of times and has definitely been on my mind. How do you approach the sensitive topic of the Gaza situation with your children of all ages? For us, the Beans are little (ButterBean's not even 7 yet). This complicates the amount that they will understand. And, add that to a local culture that often seeks to "protect" children at the expense of their ability to process and deal with emotions and this is really tricky.

So, how are yo dealing with this issue? What are you telling your kids?

For me, I'm walking a fine line with kids who think that pretty much only old people die (we had several deaths in the family in the last year or so). We've talked about death, but I doubt they relate it o kids. And, that's one barrier I'm not sure I'm ready to cross over.

But, I know I can't avoid the conversation all together given the strong police presence, out of the house trips to donate, etc. In addition, the reality is that these are their cousins. Whether or not El 3atal has any actual blood relations in Gaza, these are his people. I lament the fact that several of his actual cousins have never heard the story of their parents being evicted from their homes and fleeing their land. I refuse to be party to denying my Beans half of their identity.

And, so, I'm left with this thought. How much do I tell them? I explain that there are little boys and girls (and their mommies and daddies) who are living in very bad conditions. We talk about the fact that we've never had to face having no food to eat for a meal. We don't worry about whether our clothes will keep us warm enough because of the lack of fuel. These worries are not for us, with God's blessings, but are affecting our people (while the Palestinians might or might not adopt me, I feel I have become one by marriage and in order to ensure my kids become one by heritage).

So while we talk about tough conditions and wanting to help those who are less fortunate than we are, how much can they understand? How much of the underlying issues are appropriate to discuss? What words do I use?

I find myself wishing for a well-written, thoughtfully worded book. So many of life's tougher issues like moving from one city to another (okay country in our case), bringing a new baby home (okay twins for us, but we like to do thing big it would seem), going to school, all of these topics have been made easier by relating to characters in a book.

But no one has written a thoughtful book on the Palestinian problem for kids. I don't have a story to read like that of TetaBean (celebrating her birthday on the back of a truck fleeing her home never to return and live) or of those who have been made refugees three times over and now live in the pit that is Gaza. How I miss great writing on tough subjects at this moment. Maybe this is a new opportunity. Perhaps the time has come to stop lamenting and start writing. I only wonder, do I have the sensitivity, the grace, the ability to walk that fine line when I have trouble finding the words to explain it to my kids? Have any of you found ways to talk to your kids about this? Any tips you'd like to share?

Happy explaining!